This is a beautiful exploration of ethos and pathos, not much about logos. I think they all matter in conversation. But in relationship, none of them matter.
Relationships are about seeing and hearing each other. Feeling each other's reality, without putting their reality in a box of the other classified things in our lives. In relationship most of us fundamentally want to be perceived in our oneness, our uniqueness, without judgement. And this is why relationship is hard. Our brains classify things for auto pilot, which is at odds with our partners auto pilot process, while we have to remain open to the manual process of relating.
Thank you for this thoughtful comment, and I think I mostly agree with you. However, I’m not ready to say that none of them matter in relationship, because I do think these are all tools in how we make sense of both our own realities and each other’s. They can be doorways to understanding when used well, not necessarily just boxes we use to categorize. But I agree that, no matter what, the process of relating is one of the biggest tasks we’re called to do in life.
You know, I agree with you. I went to far. In reconsidering my thoughts based on your comments a more balanced view is that there are moments when thinking don't matter, and moments when feeling should be put aside. Of course deciding the when and where is the challenge. I guess that requires right humility.
What I enjoy most about this story is that you two didn't go on like this for decades. You got down to it and eventually figured it out, that it couldn't go on like this. Sounds like maybe you were more so the one who made the decision, Danielle, but I appreciate your willingness to potray Miguel with equity and integrity. I think stories about how people challenge each other, even if it succumbs to arguments and heartbreak, are some of the most inspiring in their authenticity and color.
Wow, thank you for saying that, Andrew. Matters like this are so rarely understandable and tidy, and the older I get, the more leery I am of stories that provide answers in love. Thank you, very much, for reading.
I mean... wow. Heartachingly beautiful, Danielle, in its honesty, self-awareness, and vulnerability. Thank you for writing this, and I empathize with the lingering hurt, the (perhaps) regrets, and the no doubt countless 'what ifs'. I hope you find everything you're looking for. (As kick-ass mountainbiker, I don't doubt you can navigate even the most treacherous terrain.)
Thank you my friend. This one has been wanting to come out for a very long time. And luckily, many things that came after this story have been really great. 😊
This is a beautiful exploration of ethos and pathos, not much about logos. I think they all matter in conversation. But in relationship, none of them matter.
Relationships are about seeing and hearing each other. Feeling each other's reality, without putting their reality in a box of the other classified things in our lives. In relationship most of us fundamentally want to be perceived in our oneness, our uniqueness, without judgement. And this is why relationship is hard. Our brains classify things for auto pilot, which is at odds with our partners auto pilot process, while we have to remain open to the manual process of relating.
Thank you for this thoughtful comment, and I think I mostly agree with you. However, I’m not ready to say that none of them matter in relationship, because I do think these are all tools in how we make sense of both our own realities and each other’s. They can be doorways to understanding when used well, not necessarily just boxes we use to categorize. But I agree that, no matter what, the process of relating is one of the biggest tasks we’re called to do in life.
You know, I agree with you. I went to far. In reconsidering my thoughts based on your comments a more balanced view is that there are moments when thinking don't matter, and moments when feeling should be put aside. Of course deciding the when and where is the challenge. I guess that requires right humility.
What I enjoy most about this story is that you two didn't go on like this for decades. You got down to it and eventually figured it out, that it couldn't go on like this. Sounds like maybe you were more so the one who made the decision, Danielle, but I appreciate your willingness to potray Miguel with equity and integrity. I think stories about how people challenge each other, even if it succumbs to arguments and heartbreak, are some of the most inspiring in their authenticity and color.
ThankYou for this.
💜
Wow, thank you for saying that, Andrew. Matters like this are so rarely understandable and tidy, and the older I get, the more leery I am of stories that provide answers in love. Thank you, very much, for reading.
I mean... wow. Heartachingly beautiful, Danielle, in its honesty, self-awareness, and vulnerability. Thank you for writing this, and I empathize with the lingering hurt, the (perhaps) regrets, and the no doubt countless 'what ifs'. I hope you find everything you're looking for. (As kick-ass mountainbiker, I don't doubt you can navigate even the most treacherous terrain.)
Thank you my friend. This one has been wanting to come out for a very long time. And luckily, many things that came after this story have been really great. 😊