Perhaps it is hard to watch because you really know what it's like to be "in the arena", and have visualized it enough to proxy the grandest stage of all. But I'm glad to see you internalize it as reinvention, more so than failure. You are one of them, more than you are one of the rest.
I love watching the best do their thing, and hear their backstories, win or lose. It's only the swimming that drives me crazy...i hit the pool 3x/week, and I just can't fathom how they are doing this at such speeds. Might as well ask me to levitate.
This is just so beautiful, Danielle. I really appreciate and thank you for writing these words. It's especially potent, as I've been musing on the concept of aging and athleticism. Being vulnerable to the process is showing true strength and skill. It's inevitable that age will catch up to us at any point in our lives.
Making modifications to stay fit in accordance with the sands of time is something that has taken precedence in my life. I often think about not continuing with certain sports that I could have been really good at. But now at nearly forty, I am actually in the best shape of my life because I know how to train my body with nurturing foods and fitness routines.
In the past I didn't stick it out on the tennis court and wrestling mat, because I got frustrated by the amount of labor and stress that was involved. I'm at a point in time where I know I could have stuck it out. I know how to train now. I wish I knew these things then, but I'm just grateful to have these realizations now.
I plan to continue down this path of enlightenment for as long as I can. Like my therapist told me during a session, "Enjoy the good moment, before it leaves and comes back again."
Thanks again for sharing your experiences, emotions and philosophical journey via the lens of physical fitness.
Thanks so much for sharing, Adam, and for the kind words! I’m totally with you re: training and aging. After I retired from volleyball, I actually took up mountain biking as something as a second act sport. It’s been amazing to me how much better I am at engaging with a sport the second time around—I know both the strategies and pitfalls a bit more now. And it’s crazy how much more FUNNY I’m having with mountain without the pressure of competition/olympic aspirations. It’s like I get to be a kid through this sport now, even though I actually was a kid when I played my first one. And dare I say, I actually prefer the journey a bit more now that I’m older, and I’m enjoying aging because of the mental side of it! (Alas, youth is wasted on the young.)
And to your point about “not sticking it out” when you were earlier, I think that’s a tremendous lesson to have learned!
This is really good. Former athlete too (“retired” at 23) and how you describe your emotions, I can so vividly understand and appreciate. Beautifully-written. Thank you. 🙏
Thanks, Gunnar! Tangent forthcoming—there’s actually some cool research about it, and it’s a practice that often gets misinterpreted and misapplied in ways that taint the actual … “there” there.
This is where I admit that I see your Substack and think, “welp, he’s writing every the Substack I want to write, but probably way better!” I have had that conversation about the 10,000 hour rule so many times! Anders Ericsson’s work was the first to introduce me to the academic concept of deliberate practice, but also, these techniques were pretty common in the way all of my volleyball practices were structured, even from a young age.
Aaand, I also think of things like affirmations, another technique we used all the time when speaking to ourselves during different skills—“make this serve, Danielle,” or “you’re ok, shake that one off”—as another practice that gets misapplied. BUT, this one I think is more nuanced in an arthropological sense as we delve into its use in ceremonies and incantations, for example. So I don’t want to sanitize the concept too much and detach it from its deeply human roots, nor from its usefulness. But I do think a discussion of the … mechanism of action behind them, so to speak, would be cool.
Even the weird kids mostly played sports in the 70s, at recess. There was literally nothing else to do. Unless it was actively raining, teachers made us go outside so they could get 10-15 minutes to themselves twice a day. Athlete as an separate identity (as opposed to just being better at what we were all doing) didn't start until Little League or JV. 10? 12?
For me, I think reinventing was less about building a new role for myself in the world (though that was definitely a big part of it) and more about remembering the core things about me that were always there, and growing. It seems that maybe when building a new role isn’t an option, holding to our core would be.
This is great and feels deeply true and familiar.
Perhaps it is hard to watch because you really know what it's like to be "in the arena", and have visualized it enough to proxy the grandest stage of all. But I'm glad to see you internalize it as reinvention, more so than failure. You are one of them, more than you are one of the rest.
I love watching the best do their thing, and hear their backstories, win or lose. It's only the swimming that drives me crazy...i hit the pool 3x/week, and I just can't fathom how they are doing this at such speeds. Might as well ask me to levitate.
What a kind thing to say, thank you. Isn’t the swimming bananas?! It does seem physically impossible. They are so impressive.
This is just so beautiful, Danielle. I really appreciate and thank you for writing these words. It's especially potent, as I've been musing on the concept of aging and athleticism. Being vulnerable to the process is showing true strength and skill. It's inevitable that age will catch up to us at any point in our lives.
Making modifications to stay fit in accordance with the sands of time is something that has taken precedence in my life. I often think about not continuing with certain sports that I could have been really good at. But now at nearly forty, I am actually in the best shape of my life because I know how to train my body with nurturing foods and fitness routines.
In the past I didn't stick it out on the tennis court and wrestling mat, because I got frustrated by the amount of labor and stress that was involved. I'm at a point in time where I know I could have stuck it out. I know how to train now. I wish I knew these things then, but I'm just grateful to have these realizations now.
I plan to continue down this path of enlightenment for as long as I can. Like my therapist told me during a session, "Enjoy the good moment, before it leaves and comes back again."
Thanks again for sharing your experiences, emotions and philosophical journey via the lens of physical fitness.
Thanks so much for sharing, Adam, and for the kind words! I’m totally with you re: training and aging. After I retired from volleyball, I actually took up mountain biking as something as a second act sport. It’s been amazing to me how much better I am at engaging with a sport the second time around—I know both the strategies and pitfalls a bit more now. And it’s crazy how much more FUNNY I’m having with mountain without the pressure of competition/olympic aspirations. It’s like I get to be a kid through this sport now, even though I actually was a kid when I played my first one. And dare I say, I actually prefer the journey a bit more now that I’m older, and I’m enjoying aging because of the mental side of it! (Alas, youth is wasted on the young.)
And to your point about “not sticking it out” when you were earlier, I think that’s a tremendous lesson to have learned!
This is really good. Former athlete too (“retired” at 23) and how you describe your emotions, I can so vividly understand and appreciate. Beautifully-written. Thank you. 🙏
Thanks so much, Mike. Happy to connect with other athletes!
How beautiful and bittersweet, Danielle!
(Also, yes, I'd like a tangent on visualization, especially from a sports perspective.)
Thanks, Gunnar! Tangent forthcoming—there’s actually some cool research about it, and it’s a practice that often gets misinterpreted and misapplied in ways that taint the actual … “there” there.
Thanks for reading. 😊
I had to dig for a moment, but I remember writing something about visualization when writing about the (also misinterpreted) 10,000 hour rule (https://subtlesparks.substack.com/p/lets-break-the-10000-hour-rule)
I look forward to reading the tangent!
This is where I admit that I see your Substack and think, “welp, he’s writing every the Substack I want to write, but probably way better!” I have had that conversation about the 10,000 hour rule so many times! Anders Ericsson’s work was the first to introduce me to the academic concept of deliberate practice, but also, these techniques were pretty common in the way all of my volleyball practices were structured, even from a young age.
Aaand, I also think of things like affirmations, another technique we used all the time when speaking to ourselves during different skills—“make this serve, Danielle,” or “you’re ok, shake that one off”—as another practice that gets misapplied. BUT, this one I think is more nuanced in an arthropological sense as we delve into its use in ceremonies and incantations, for example. So I don’t want to sanitize the concept too much and detach it from its deeply human roots, nor from its usefulness. But I do think a discussion of the … mechanism of action behind them, so to speak, would be cool.
Tangent alert!
I eagerly await your take.
Even the weird kids mostly played sports in the 70s, at recess. There was literally nothing else to do. Unless it was actively raining, teachers made us go outside so they could get 10-15 minutes to themselves twice a day. Athlete as an separate identity (as opposed to just being better at what we were all doing) didn't start until Little League or JV. 10? 12?
I wonder what one does when the earthquake comes late in life when there is not enough time for reinvention.
For me, I think reinventing was less about building a new role for myself in the world (though that was definitely a big part of it) and more about remembering the core things about me that were always there, and growing. It seems that maybe when building a new role isn’t an option, holding to our core would be.
Big asterisk here that I only know my own experience and have no idea what it’s like to be someone else, in this.